The Twins' Birth Story

My twins were born, quite unexpectedly, on Wednesday last week. I was 34 weeks, 6 days pregnant. While it's not unusual for twins to be born early, I was totally in denial, despite the contractions I had been feeling throughout the day, and still have a hard time believing that they are finally here. But they are, and I am head-over-heels in love with them. Completely Obsessed. Here's how it all went down.

Not to say that this contributed in any way to my early labor, but I was a busy girl on the Monday and Tuesday before the twins were born. On Monday, I was really tired and didn't leave the house all day since we had a pretty big snow and ice storm that day. My daughter had to work, though, and she really isn't an experienced driver. Of course she would get her car stuck in the snow - TWICE - on our block on her way home. I had no choice but to go out and help her. I didn't try and push the car or anything (my daughter and my mom did that), but I did have to walk through the snow to get to her car and tried to maneuver the car into a driveable position. Unfortunately the snow/ice was so slushy that I couldn't even get it out, but one of our neighbors noticed our struggle and ultimately did help. I was probably outside for about an hour.

Then on Tuesday, I did some heavy shopping. We had events to go to on both Saturday and Sunday that week, and I wanted to make sure we had gifts to give "just in case" anything happened. My nephew's birthday party was on Saturday so I needed a gift for him, and then we were celebrating Christmas with my dad on Sunday (we always celebrate with that side of the family the first weekend in January). Lots and lots of gifts to buy. I was kicking myself for not getting it done earlier.

That Wednesday, I had nothing special to do, no plans, and I just wanted to relax. I had a scheduled doctor's appointment at 3:30 that afternoon and that was the only event in my calendar.

I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions on and off for a couple of weeks prior to Wednesday, so when my stomach would get hard and contract throughout the morning, I really didn't think anything of it. I knew I was in need of some serious rest after the Christmas holiday, and then the chaos of the last few days, and figured I was just tired. And the contractions were nothing new.

And then they kept coming.

It got to the point where I was catching my breath with a "Braxton Hicks" contraction about every 10-15 minutes. Still thought nothing of it. I figured that I had a doctor's appointment later that included a Non-Stress Test (NST) and I'd just let the test determine if these were really contractions.

Luckily for me, my husband had a better sense of intuition than I did because he decided to accompany me to the doctor's appointment and just be late for work that day. He wanted to make sure I was ok. {Cue the "Awwww".} We took separate cars though. I drove myself - while enduring the contractions.

Still, I was in denial.

At the doctor's office, the NST showed that yes, I was having contractions every 10-15 minutes. No biggie, right?

Then, the doctor performed a cervical check that showed that I was 1 cm dilated, and 75% effaced. Damn.

Not to worry though, doc said I should head to the hospital to get started on some fluids with the hopes that the contractions would subside. Phew - they would subside right? Right?!?!

Once again, drove myself the 15 minutes from the doctor's office to the hospital. Easy peasy. Just kept telling myself that I was going to get fluids to stop the contractions. It was going to be fine.

We get to the hospital, and I was taken to a small labor & delivery room. The nurse that took me in even made me feel kinda bad for being there in the first place. You should have seen her face when she learned that my contractions were 10-15 minutes apart and I was only 1 cm dilated. She made it seem like I was wasting her time.

"What doctor sent you here again?" Eye roll. "Oh, you'll be here for a long time." Double eye roll.

Regardless of her feelings about it, she had a job to do so she started an IV, and placed the monitors on my stomach. Then we just had to wait to see what was going on.

My last belly shot.

At this point I just wanted to go home. I wanted to get out of her hair, and be back at home where I belonged.

Problem was, the contractions kept on coming. Not super tough contractions, but contractions none the less.

By the time I was admitted to the hospital, it was about 4:30. Then the kicker...

After being there for just 2 hours, the doctor came in to check me. I was 5 cm dilated.

AAAAAGGGGHHHHH! I was in early labor.

I was so shocked I started to cry. I wanted to say "No, you've got it wrong. I don't want to do this now. I'm not ready. The twins are not ready. It's way too early. I want to go home. This is NOT right!"

FULL PANIC MODE.

I was previously scheduled for a c-section for 1/21/16, and it was only 12/30/15. Not even 2016 yet. Sooooo not ready.

But, ready or not, here they come!

After that announcement from the doctor, everything kinda happened in a blur. He said he didn't want me to further progress with labor, because I shouldn't get to the point where I wanted to push. It was GO TIME!

I was given a bunch of medications at one time - an antacid (I think), some really sugary drink, and a few other pills. Then comes the part I really didn't like.

Since I was having a c-section, my husband wouldn't be with me until the babies were about to arrive.

Um, WHAT?

I needed him with me.

He calms me. He helps me. He's my rock.

And he couldn't be with me.

I was quickly wheeled out of that room to an OR. He was given scrubs to change into and told they would come for him when they were ready. I was so sad.

Then, in the OR, it felt like a bad dream. It was full of strangers. Different nurses - nurses for me, nurses for the babies, the anesthesiologist - basically just a bunch of people I didn't know.

When I was being given the spinal block, instead of leaning into my husband (like I did when I had an epidural when my son was born), I had to lean into a nurse whose name I couldn't even remember. And as my lower extremities began to numb, I was alone. All alone. It really was an awful feeling.

Then my doctor came in to start prepping and put the blue screen up in front of my face to block my view and I wanted to run out of the room.

Well, obviously the spinal block put the kabosh on that.

I hate things, anything, close to my face, and I was about to panic again.

Just before I started to scream, I hear my husband's voice in my ear talking some nonsense about Jimmy John's sandwiches.

Did I want mayo on my sandwich? I wanted an Italian sub, right? Would I want a drink with that? And other meaningless questions.

When I talked to him about it later, he said that the second he walked into the room and saw me, he knew what I was thinking and feeling. He could literally see the panic starting to rise in me all over my face. His questions were only meant to distract me from myself.

God, I love that man!

In that moment, he knew exactly what I needed.

Then, a little pressure, and seconds later...crying!!! My daughter, Lauryn, had arrived. It was 8:15 pm. And just one minute later, my son, Peyton, was introduced to the world.

It really happened that fast.

After that, they quickly cleaned up the babies, let us take a few pictures, then whisked them away to the NICU. My husband and I were taken to a recovery room where we stayed for more than two hours. And just like the reaction I had to the epidural when my son was born 5 years ago, I had an allergic reaction to the spinal block too. Itching and scratching all over. This lasted for about 3 days. All I wanted to do was see my babies.

Finally, at around 10:45 pm, I was able to see them in the NICU.

They are here, and They. Are. Perfect.

Unfortunately, their arrival included a stay in the NICU, and I'll share that story soon.

Thanks for sticking with me for this super long post. I didn't want to omit anything, as I'm going to want to return to this post time and time again. Time does a number on our memory, and I don't want to forget a second of it. These are likely my last babies and I want to remember this forever.

Enjoy some pics of their first day!

Lauryn

Peyton

Weekly Recap #5

This week definitely did not go according to plan for me. Little did I know that I was in for the SHOCK of a lifetime. Let me tell you how it all shook out.

On Monday, we were hit with a pretty bad snow and ice storm. The roads were SO BAD! My daughter had to work Monday night and ended up getting the car stuck in the middle of the street...TWICE...on her way home. Luckily she got stuck on our block and we had a neighbor that saw my daughter, my mom, and I (hugely pregnant) trying to get the car home (without having any luck) and was able to help us out. He was a Godsend. (And to my neighbor who lives directly across the street who decided to stand at her window THE WHOLE TIME just staring at us...SHAME ON YOU! You could have at least asked us if we were ok, instead of probably just wondering if we would get out from being stuck directly in from of your house. I was so, so mad at you.) Anyway, I planned to take pictures of the aftermath of the storm Monday or Tuesday but didn't get a chance. I'm just glad I didn't have to leave the house.

Then on Wednesday, everything changed for me.

Wanna know why???

I became the mom of TWINS on Wednesday!!!

Yep, you read that right. I went into labor on Wednesday and had my twins at 34 weeks and 6 days. Definitely early. Definitely unexpected. But ultimately, definitely awesome.

I will share their whole birth story soon - including my thoughts on their NICU stay. Unfortunately, it is still unclear as to when the twins will be discharged. Current estimate is the day my original c-section was scheduled, 1/21/16, but they are doing really well in the NICU so I'm hoping that day is moved WAY up.

So, as you can see, my husband and I spent our New Year's Eve in the NICU, celebrating the day with our babies.

Ain't no party like a NICU party...!

The NICU nurses were great and had some Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice for us as we rang in the new year with our newest family additions. The moment was bittersweet for me though because it marks the very first New Year's Eve that I did not spend with my other kids. For the last 16 years I have always been with my daughter on NYE and it was really sad to not be able to see her and my five-year-old that night. :(

I was scheduled to stay in the hospital until Sunday afternoon and, with the twins in the NICU, I spent my extra time in my hospital room eating, pumping, and watching TV. I was sad that the twins couldn't be with my in my post-op room, but I like to keep a positive attitude and look for the silver lining in things. I decided to look at my hospital stay as a solo vacation. Minus the beach. Minus the margaritas. Minus the fun.  But...I mean, when is the next time that I'll get to spend days all by myself without interruption (for the most part) from one of my kids? I figure it won't be for awhile, so I'm trying to enjoy the alone time as much as I can.

I was able to leave the hospital on Sunday, and my babies are still in the NICU. I will post the full story on that, but know that it was a really hard day.

So, with all the busyness that went on this week, was I able to stick to any of my goals? These were my goals from last week.

• Goal #1: Eliminate soda for 1 week. I was able to get myself back on track after the Christmas holiday. As much as I was tempted after the twins were born, I managed to stay away from the sweet, carbonated stuff this week. I hope it continues because I want to be as healthy for those babies as I possibly can.
• Goal #2: Purchase gifts. There was a lot going on this weekend with my nephew's (and my son's best buddy) birthday party and Christmas with my dad. Miraculously, I was able to get gifts for both events on Tuesday night. I'm super-thankful for my wonderful husband (who has been so awesome not only with me, but keeping things going on the home front.)
• Goal #3: Spend 30 minutes organizing the basement. For the second week in a row...NOPE. I really wanted to get started on this, again, but rushing to the hospital on Wednesday afternoon kinda put the kabosh on that.
• Goal #4: Purchase and install blackout blinds for the twins. Not yet. They are still in the NICU, but this is a priority for me before they come home.
• Goal #5: Spend NYE with my family in our jammies...and stay awake till midnight!  Well we spent the evening with the newest members of the family anyway - and I was wearing new jammies! Hope you had an awesome New Year's!

Three out of five again. I have got to get with it! These are the goals I hope to tackle this week.

Goal #1: Eliminate soda for 1 more week. I've actually been feeling pretty good since I gave up soda. I think I can make it another week.

Goal #2: Attend post-holiday party on Friday. I have been an emotional wreck the last few days and, if the babies are still in the hospital, I may need some time with girlfriends for a few hours. If one of my babies is able to come home, there's no way this will be met though.

Goal #3: Spend 30 minutes organizing the basement. Even though I can't lift much and have to take it easy, I have been wanting to get the basement organized for weeks. Even if I can just move a few things around, at least I can say that I got the project started.

Goal #4: Organize one kitchen cabinet. One of my husband's pet peeves is walking into the kitchen and seeing that one (or more) of our cabinets can't close all the way because there's so much stuff in there. I would love to get at least one cabinet cleaned out.

Goal #5: Purchase and install blackout blinds for the twins. I didn't get to do this last week, but it must be done before the twins come home.

I'll let you know how it went next week!

Don't Look at Me

Entering these last few weeks of pregnancy, it's getting harder and harder for me to get around. My husband always says, "You're pregnant, not handicapped.", but the problem with that is, I certainly feel handicapped most of the time. I am so uncomfortable most of the time, and my body does not respond to my mental commands as it should.

Remember that phrase: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"? Well, that's how I feel if ever I need to get close to the floor to pick something up, or wipe something off the floor. My mind is telling my body to GET UP!, but my body looks like I'm playing a game of Twister as I slowly contort and writhe around, just trying to get my footing.

The worst thing about all this is the way people look and stare as I'm walking around the store, or picking up my son from preschool.

All I have to say to you gawkers is, look:

I realize that I'm breathing heavy.

I realize that I'm waddling.

I realize that I'm walking very slow.

I realize that I'm probably in your way.

I get it, you wish I would just move out of the way. And believe me, I wish I could quickly do that too. Problem is, I can't.

If I move faster, I can't breathe.

If I move faster, I'll get sharp pains in my lower abdomen.

If I move faster, I'm afraid I'll trip and fall, causing catastrophic consequences.

This will be my last pregnancy. As uncomfortable as I am, I wish it wouldn't be ending so soon. In a way, I wish I could be uncomfortable for a little while longer. This is it for me.

So as you see me pass you by, please withhold the snickering, the whispers, and the looks of pity. Please, stop looking at me like that. It is, after all, my last time. It'll be over before you, or I, know it.